Identity Found: Through His Lens

 What do you consider your self to be good at? Are you a peacemaker, a good friend, or organized? I feel like God has made me an encourager. I seek ways to build others up. I like for others to hear the good things I see in them. Have you heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? Sometimes I struggle with speaking life over others because I am not doing enough self care. Other times, it is caused by other people doing or saying things that bring me down. Recently, I was in a situation where I was being paid a compliment, but the words chosen had the opposite effect. It took me about two weeks to work through how I felt about it. Encouragers also need encouragement. If you know your encouraging friend is struggling with things, send them a text, make a phone call, or send a card. It makes a huge difference.  Be careful with your words. The way you say things is important! I want you to know that you are amazing and I’m glad you are here! Be blessed!

I’m currently sitting out in the yard at the farm. Listening to the chickens and the wind blowing through the trees. It is not too hot and I feel relaxed. I guess being in the country will do that for you. Scott and I are dealing with parents that are not as healthy as we would like them to be. We can’t do anything to control that situation. I like to try to control everything around me. Not being able to control any of it causes anxiety and fear. I’m working on it, but sometimes it’s just really hard. I have recently started tracking my food again and going to my Tuesday night class. I wish I could say I’m doing great, but I’m not. Most days I do ok on others not so much. Mentally, things are up and down. My stress level has been up and so has my desire to eat emotionally. I have to restart, take it one day at a time and pray and study God’s word. Starting over is not easy. It was hard to admit that I stumbled where my weight loss was concerned. I know that I am worth the effort it ta...

 Non-scale victories are a big part of my journey to be physically, mentally, and spiritually fit. The number on the scale is just part of the puzzle. I am proud of the weight I have lost because I have worked hard.  My husband and I are fortunate to have three Godchildren. A 13 year old Godson and two Goddaughters ages 8 and 6. We love them. The decision to get healthy started when I realized that the time I was spending with them was not the quality of time that would be possible if I lost weight. My non-scale victories increased as my weight decreased.  I was playing Truth or Dare with the littlest Goddaughter. She dared me to get in the floor and get back up. I did it. She was pretty excited because I didn’t make an excuse, I just did it. Recently, she asked me to have a dance party with her, and I did it. It was a good five minute dance off. She smiled.  I want to be an encouragement to people who may struggle to find success in their journey. Shifting my focus ...

 I feel like it is important for me to be honest about my weight loss journey. I believe that there is someone who needs to hear truth. The truth is I’m not all that comfortable in my own skin. You can take this several different ways, so I will explain. One of the things I am struggling with is my flabby skin. The more weight I lose the more my skin sags and wrinkles. Some days I think this is ok because it is a sign that I have really lost a lot of weight. Other days I am embarrassed by the skin. I feel awkward and struggle with compliments about how I look because I don’t like the way I look. I’m insecure. The reality of my situation is that my “extra skin” is the result of my over eating and is something that I am going to have to figure out how to change the way I see myself. So, what will this process look like? I will continue to surround myself with people who challenge me to be better. Truth is, the flabby skin is not as bad as the weight I was carrying around. My knees an...

I’m not sure how many of us can say we have children in our lives who will speak truth over us. I am fortunate to have them. A few weeks ago, my youngest Goddaughter (six years old) asked me what I was afraid of. She has heard me talk about being afraid of clowns. I stopped and thought about it and said snakes. She responded with a question. “Are those your only Goliaths?” I asked her what she meant and she told me that her teacher said that a Goliath is something in our life that is big and scary. Let that sink in. I’ve thought about this for a few weeks and evaluated my life for other Goliaths. One of the things I thought of was that I struggle with large groups of people. I especially struggle when I have to be vulnerable in this group. I don’t think I see myself the way other people see me . I really struggle with this. So, this is a Goliath for me. I realize now that my sweet Goddaughter loves me and wants me to be a better person. All three of my Godchildren (and their parents) s...

 Sometimes it is difficult to figure out what you are called to do. I feel strongly that I am supposed to encourage people and love like Christ does. This includes loving myself. I have not always recognized this. My goal everyday is to be better than I was yesterday. This means that I need to learn from the hard stuff. I have learned a ton about myself in the last 14 months.  Let’s go back to December of 2022. I weighed around 350 pounds. My size was taking a toll on my joints and back. I couldn’t walk far and standing up for an extended time was not an option. Moving was difficult and my self image was not good. I finally admitted that I had been eating to cover my pain from my mother’s passing. During this time I had a friend ask if I had ever considered going to a weight loss group. She was very careful with her words. In January of 2023, I went with her and weighed in. I was full of all kinds of emotion. I was scared. I thought more than once about admitting how bad I let...